Friday, July 13, 2007

The Liberal Atheist and The Bear

An atheist was walking through the woods... when he stopped and thought: "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!"

Then, as he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him! He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He ran faster when he looked over his shoulder again, and saw that the bear was even closer! He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him...reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped! The bear froze...And the forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky..."You deny my existence for all these years... and try to teach others I don't exist... and even credit creation to a cosmic accident? Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to now count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "Well, it would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now...but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said God.The light went out.The sounds of the forest resumed...And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."


Anonymous said...

Someday they will all find out the truth. Jesus, my Lord is REAL and ALIVE!!

Ohio Dad

Jersey McJones said...

I notice you have a "Draft Fred Thompson" banner. Didn't you hear the news? He doesn't attend church.

I have a story for ya'. I heard this from Larry King years ago...

So, there's this atheist on a boat, fishing in the Loch Ness in Scotland. Suddenly the water starts to roil and bubble and up from the tumult rises the Loch Ness Monster menacing the atheist in his boat. "Oh God, help me!" the atheist cries. At the moment the skies thunder, the clouds part, and God Himself appears to the atheist and says, "You call for my help now, huh? I thought you didn't believe in Me," and atheist replies, "Well, up until a moment ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!"

There is no Loch Ness Monster, and there is no God.


Jersey McJones said...

I hope you have the juevos to post my comment.


Skyboss said...

I hope you have the juevos when you face God on the day of your judgment and deny his existence!

May He have mercy upon you.